Innocence's Loss
by Tuppence
Summary: AU Season 3. Some secrets are out, others remain hidden, festering in the dark, ready to destroy things slowly. And what should be the best and final year of high school could end up being the worst. And it may bring back nightmares for some adults too...
1. Chapter I

**Disclaimer****:** I don't own anything to do with 90210.

**Author's note****:** My first attempt at a 90210 fic. Originally, this was supposed to be post-season 1 but the storylines were so similar to season 2 and 3 that I've altered it to be post-season 2 and AU from Season 3 onwards, although many of the events of Season 3 will be incorporated into this.

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**Innocence's Loss**

**Chapter I**

It took her three hours to decide what to wear this morning. She hated it. It had never taken her this long before and what was she trying to do anyway? All she was trying to do was dress like herself, but all these clothes were hers, so who else could she have dressed as anyway?

Damn it, worst start to the day possible. She walked through the entrance of the school, feeling all at once overwhelmed by the quantity of people the building contained. It hadn't seemed that claustrophobic outside but inside... The whole place was buzzing and she had a feeling her entrance had caused it all. Whispers of Naomi reached her ears and she didn't bother straining to hear what they said. More out of fear than self-assurance, she admitted to herself, hating herself all the more for that fact.

"Naomi!"

This time, she did turn around because she recognised the voice. "Ade," her mouth formed the first genuine smile in hours. How shit that she had even been awake for that long! "You look good," she said, appreciating the simple green top over denim skirt that she wore. Trust Ade to make a simple outfit, no labels or anything, look like a piece of art. Clearly, the tour hadn't changed Ade _that_ much. "So this is the start to the new year."

"Yup. How've you been? I can't believe I haven't seen you all summer!"

Naomi thought back to the last few days, bottles of wine, dark room, lethargy... There was definitely a reason why Ade hadn't seen her for the last few days. It seemed a little ironic, in a humourless sort of way, that as one of them got over dangerous addictions and dark emotional states, the other fell into it. "Yeah, I've been a little busy," she said, in a voice that was carefully light. "Sorting out my closet for the new year," She explained to Ade's questioning look with a quick lie. "And how was _your_ summer, Miss Star?"

"That _is_ a lot of work. Hey, have you seen Navid today?" Ade's eyes were darting left, right, everywhere, trying to search for her boyfriend and ignoring the question. She hadn't seen _him_ either for a while and it felt weird to have seen neither her best friend, nor her boyfriend for those days. Sure, singing to such a large audience was fun but the truth was that she had missed her friends. A lot. She had seen Silver already but...she was intense. And so _negative_ about everything. It was a lot more exhausting to be around Silver than it was to be around either Naomi or Navid and far less interesting too, if she was honest.

"No I haven't. Miss him already? How many hours has it been since you saw him? Or is it only minutes?" Naomi lightly teased her friend, trying to ignore the looks and whispers. Experience didn't make this unwanted attention any more palatable than it had been last year, with everything happening with Liam and Annie and... Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the slight furrowing in Ade's brow or the way her lips tightened a little before she spoke.

"_Actually_, I haven't seen him in a few days. So you're wrong on both counts. Hey, there's Teddy. I'll see you later." Her quick steps took her away from Naomi towards the tall blonde she'd known for years, seeking solace in familiarity that yet wouldn't know her so well that he'd notice that she was upset. And _why_ was she upset? She couldn't explain it to herself. It had been a small fight and they'd made up a couple of hours later. Spending the whole summer on tour had been too much for the both of them and it wasn't that uncommon for her to not see Navid for a few days, especially with as large a family as he had and the babysitting they often got him to do. So why did it bother her that she hadn't seen him for a few days? Maybe it was because she hadn't seen Naomi for a few days either? But none of these explanations made that uncomfortable knot in her stomach disappear or made her smile genuine when she said hi to Teddy.

"Looking forward to final year?" Cheesy smile to hide her total lack of interest in the subject. To think that she had stardom within her grasp, only to have it taken away by some brat of a guy who couldn't handle rejection.

"Hell yeah!" Teddy smiled his automatically charming smile, allowing his gaze to sift around for a quick moment. "And I've clearly already made an entrance." He wasn't sure whether it was his good looks or his famous connections but there were whispers and looks directed at him. "Was that Naomi?"

"Yup. Anyway, what do you have first? I can take you to the classroom?"

"And cause scandal and controversy? You really like the lime-light, don't you?" It was meant to be light-hearted, so much so that he didn't notice Ade flinch from his suggestion. But it didn't matter. A moment later, Dixon had entered the building with Annie, drawing increased whispers and some spoken declarations of belittlement. It hadn't been long before everyone had found out about the ex-principal having become the ex-principal. A little more digging and the reason had been found out soon enough and there was some underlying resentment surfacing. Trust the principal's kid to get away with everything. And to top it off, it had spread like wild-fire that _Annie_ had been the one involved in the hit-and-run. All of the underlying resentment from the previous year, having to go to summer school, resurfaced with a vengeance and all of it was pointedly in the siblings' direction.

But Teddy wasn't one of them. "Dixon, what's up my man?" Brotherly love was shared in a strictly platonic embrace that lasted no more than a few seconds, Ade noted passingly. Her eyes were trained on Naomi, walking away. Something was wrong. Or rather, something wasn't right, and she had no idea what. Maybe it was the whole break-up with Liam but that was a while ago? Or maybe Jen was stirring things up again? But Naomi was distinctly on her to-do list. Right after finding Navid and sorting out whatever was happening.

She returned her attention onto Teddy, as Naomi disappeared around the corner, her long strides leaving a regular tattoo on the floor that could be heard, despite the noise that surrounded them. She just had that impact.

The strides were carefully calculated; Naomi was careful to not let a single step falter. She was damned if she'd let anyone know what happened. Within a moment, a very short moment, all of her thoughts stopped. All of her plans, dreams of vengeance and exacting justice disappeared because she saw Liam by his locker and she felt a new pain inside. A new pain that was yet old and familiar... God, she hated him. And as much as she hated him, she loved him that much more. _Still_. And worse than that, she could hear his taunting words, accusing her of selfishness and of digging her own grave. She'd cried wolf. There was nothing she could do about it now except get over it.

Her legs carried on moving, her footsteps never faltering, her face assumed a neutral expression, refusing to show any of the turmoil that had erupted inside of her; before he could look up and notice her, she had slipped into the girls' bathroom that was there before the lockers, slipping herself into an empty cubicle before anyone could see anything wrong. And the words, conversations, filtered through to her. Discussing Mr Cannon, how he was back for another year.

She had no idea what to do. She was fucked.

It took her a while to realise that the conversations had stopped, that she was surrounded by silence and that she had clearly missed the bell signalling the start of school. Didn't matter. Not really, not at all. Because she had _no idea_ what she would do, what she _could_ do, if the rumours were true and Mr Cannon was still around.


	2. Chapter II

**Disclaimer****:** I don't own 90210. If I did...the Navid-Silver storyline would be going very differently.

**Author's Note****:** So just a warning: Kelly will play a relatively prominent role in this story and there will be a lot of the original Beverly Hills 90210 back-story in this. Nothing that needs to be known but if you _have_ seen the show, you'll get it much faster than if you wait for the future chapters to explicitly explain everything, which I will do, anyway. Anyway, it'll just be a bit more suspense for those of you that haven't seen Beverly Hills 90210.

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**Innocence's Loss**

**Chapter II**

Ryan was stone-cold sober this morning. Hell, he'd been stone-cold sober since that fateful night of the fender bender, when he'd nearly lost his life but got away with a few cuts and bruises instead. It was a wake-up call that he'd decided to pay attention to and it had been a strict reminder of _why_ he didn't do drugs, alcohol and excess the way Laurel did.

Laurel was an entirely different subject to think about, one that he'd spent many hours wondering what had gotten into him to make him fall for a woman like that, with scruples like that. It had eventually led him back to Jen, and beyond Jen, back to Kelly. He could honestly say that Kelly was the last woman with any morals that he had fallen for, and to have her now so distant and aloof, a mixture of what happened with Brenda and then later Silver, made him seriously reassess his priorities. And that's how he found himself with a renewed passion to teach these kids, and hopefully stop them from the mistakes he seemed to keep making.

None of these revelations or rediscovered passion for teaching made him any less irritated with Naomi's late entrance. He'd always been an admirer of her dramatics – he genuinely thought that her skills, if they'd been honed in the right direction, could have rivalled Annie's talent, maybe even Ade's. But they hadn't. Her talents were, instead, selfish, narcissistic and self-absorbed.

A sharp order for her to sit down, and she gracefully did, making artful use of rolling her eyes oh-so-dramatically. But at least she didn't talk back. Which, half an hour into his lesson, hit him.

Naomi _always_ talked back. Naomi _always_ did whatever was most dramatic at the time. Naomi _always _had an array of witty comebacks and droll retorts. What Naomi did not ordinarily do is sit down meekly or spend half an hour staring at the same page in her book, a furrow deep on her brow and her hands tightly clenched.

A few more minutes and the bell rang, signalling the end of the lesson and by the time he had finished telling the students their assignments, Naomi had packed her bag and was already on her way to leaving the classroom. He could only stare after her, a little concerned and very uncertain of what he should do.

It was only when lunch came by and he found himself walking past Kelly's office that he abruptly stopped, turned and knocked on her door. Of course, he did regret it instantly. They hadn't been on good terms for quite some time and what exactly was he going to say? Naomi wasn't mouthy, so he was worried? That sounded beyond stupid but he didn't have time to think of anything else.

Which was why when Kelly opened the door, it was to find a flustered Ryan, looking like a deer caught in headlights, blurting out, "Naomi wasn't mouthy, so I'm worried..."

Startled, she let him into her office, postponing lunch until she could work out what exactly Ryan was trying to tell her. "Wait, what? Naomi _wasn't_ mouthy today? Isn't she always a bit mouthy?"

"Yeah," Ryan nervously ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, she always is and...I don't know. She was quiet all through the lesson. No note-passing, no whispers or gossip, she was just sitting there, staring at the same page of the book-"

"Well, that's _very_ Naomi. When was the last time you actually saw her reading during a lesson?"

Ryan had to give her that one. He still couldn't shake off that feeling of something being wrong. "Yeah but..."

"Ryan?" Kelly asked him nervously. "Do you... Just tell me honestly, do you _think_ there's something wrong with Naomi? Something she wouldn't necessarily discuss with her friends or couldn't sort out by herself? Because you may not know this but Naomi is _very_ capable."

He didn't know what to say to that. Kelly had asked him a straightforward question and the thing was that he _didn't_ have a straight answer for it. He could see what she was asking beneath it all. Was it a remaining link to Jen? Was that why he was being jumpy? It could be. It could also be that Naomi was in some kind of trouble or was having problems and she didn't know who she could turn to. With a sister like Jen, he wouldn't be surprised if Naomi had massive issues with trust. In the end, he didn't know. He just didn't know.

"Isn't it better to be safe than sorry? I mean, what if there _is_ a problem?"

"I get that, Ryan, I really do. It's just that I haven't heard anything about anything being wrong with her."

"Yeah, but-"

"Look, I see a lot of students everyday for different problems. And a lot of them gossip. Not one word about Naomi not doing so well. And Silver hasn't said a word to me."

"Do you think Silver would really tell you everything?" He saw her stiffen, could almost feel her withdraw from him, emotionally if not physically, and he could kick himself for saying something like that when he knew about Kelly's insecurities and Achilles' heel. Nothing he could do to take it back, though.

"Why do you think she wouldn't tell me something, if it was important?"

"Come on. Don't you remember when you were a teenager? When you thought you could look after everything by yourself?"

"Ryan, my childhood years weren't like yours."

"Yeah, sorry, I forgot. You're a Beverly Hills kid." Angering Kelly or, by the looks of it, hurting her, weren't in his interests. It wouldn't make her want to check up on Naomi any more but he couldn't stop himself and without quite realising it, he was transferring all of his hurt and anger from Jen onto her. The grand finale of it all resulted in him storming out of her office, slamming her door, ignoring her persistent, frustrated pleas for him to calm down.

It was just fortunate that nobody noticed this little bit of histrionic drama too much. It was probably his lack of flair for the dramatics, the kind that Ade or Annie would have excelled in. He was back in his classroom, wondering at his lack of appetite and wondering how he could be so furious at someone (so unfairly), how he could feel so guilty for hurting them and the whole time, have the almost irresistible desire to push them against the wall and screw their mind out like he'd never had the chance to do. He was an absolute mess. He was wallowing in self-pity because of Jen, he resented Laurel for getting him into the whole drugs scene again and he hated Kelly because part of him still pined for her. What the hell was he doing starting something that was probably nothing?

It was just chance that made him glance outside his classroom, catching a glimpse of Liam talking to Annie, leaning down, curving his body around hers. And beyond the chemistry of those two, he could see Naomi, lips trembling and a look of controlled, hidden distraught covering her face.


End file.
